Bassman's Financial Advice

[bassman]

Bassman/Stanley is now open for business. Bassman is an excellant financial advisor!!!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

Additionally, Bassman has the solution for todays high gasoline prices.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! I figure it is about 350 miles from Stockbridge to PCB so it would take me 8 1/2 gallons of beer to get there. Makes you proud to be an American!

Bassman is always looking for ways to help his fellow Americans out in this time of crisis and will be submitting various plans to whomever is elected to run this great country and I will be waiting for a call to be appointed to the cabinet of this elected official.

And lastly there are only 232 more days until Bassman's next visit to the beautiful beaches of PCB.

[wannabethere]

You are ate up!!

[lite12]

I love the logical thinking!! Something our politicians lack! Excluding Capt. Ken of course!!!

[Sharkman62]

Good one Bassman

Now for a new vocabulary lesson for the modern investor

CEO- Cheif Embezelment Officer

CFO- Chief Fraud Officer

Investment Advisor- The person you call whose phone has been disconected

Profit- An out of date term no longer in Use

You gotta laugh or else we would all be jumping out of windows on the top floor