Thursday Joke

[FB_Bama]

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.

"The sharks got 'em."

[CaptKen]

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Okie dokie, let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."

Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."

"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lordy- it's 2011 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible surgery techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"

Ole says........."How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?"

[PCBSNOWBIRD]

Great one, I'm a SWEDE I'll post the one about the Swede fighter pilot in the am

[FB_Bama]

[pforkum2]

Laughing so hard I almost got coffee everywhere. Have to pass this on to the hubby at work.

[CaptKen]

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?” He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”

[PCBSNOWBIRD]

Ole the WW 2 Scandinavian flying ace was being interview on TV in Minnesota.

So tell the audience how you managed to shoot down so many German Aircraft.

Ve ver flyen ober da mainland ven dese German fockers came vom no vere.
Der ver German Fockers on de vings of de plane
German Fockers on the top of de plane
De German Fockers ver ever vere
I never see so many German Fockers in my life.

The TV host said, “ Please explain to the listeners that a German Focker is a German Aircraft.
Ya, Ya I know dat;
But dese German Fockers ver flyen Messerschmitts